Fashion Chef, It`s Going Down! – OWNSKIN – Fashion Chef

I am sure you read the title and instantly go: What the F is fashion chef? Well, bare with me for a minute ( actually more like 10. Read all of it or I will butter you! ) and let me enlight you.

As of now, a new category is born here, at OWNSKIN: Fashion Chef. This will be the place where we cook fashion, outfits, and looks. Also, if it`s not done right, we cook the ones wearing them. And boy I mean cook them. Slowly boiling into mush. I will stop with my description here before it gets creepy. This being said, chaaarge!

Gucci held its first show on the menswear schedule since 2017 during Milan Fashion Week. Gucci Fall 2020 Menswear Collection.

Toxic masculinity

“Toxic masculinity, in fact, nourishes abuse, violence, and sexism. … it produces oppressors and victims at the same time,” explains Gucci. “It seems necessary to suggest desertion, away from patriarchal plans and uniforms. It’s time to celebrate a man who is free to practice self-determination, without social constraints, without authoritarian sanctions, without suffocating stereotypes.”

Ok Alonso, back it up there for a second. I think you have lost your Sancho Panza. Masculinity is not toxic. It`s like saying guns kill people. Also, your idea of a free man might be a bit blurred. There is nothing free in that collection. Unless free equals ridiculed.

The collection delivered outfits that aimed to beat the Western “macho virility ideal”. At least that was the plan. I may be burned on a stake for this, but I can`t help myself. What the hell is that? What exactly are you people trying to beat? From what I can see, the only beating going on there is those poor models.

Moisture your eyes and hide your children. To waaaar! God help us!

In a galaxy far, far away…

Photo: Filippo Fior /

My eyes are flashing! Psst, tinfoil is supposed to be made into a hat. It has no effect if you wear it as pants. Aliens will still get inside your head. In this case, not that they would want to. Here is a reason why they never visit. As for the rest of the outfit, not much left to say. We are too late to save this one. Aliens got him already.

You Said Menswear Collection

Photo: Filippo Fior /

I am a bit confused here. I thought this was  Gucci Fall 2020 Menswear Collection. My bad! I`ll be on my way. BTW, my girlfriends love the dress. 

The Galaxy Is Back

Photo: Filippo Fior /

Have a look at the first picture. Go on! Shoo! Back yet? Ok, now the first outfit is before the abduction. This one is after the alien pucked it and sent it back. It would appear the galaxy nations kept the jacket though. That is sad. I was hoping they keep this entire collection.

911 What Is Your Emergency?

Photo: Filippo Fior /

Gotham City Mental Hospital called. They are desperate to get their patient uniform back. It would appear someone took it and is using it in fashion runways. Batman is hiding his outfit, I`ve heard. Careful running around wearing that. You could make a boo-boo!

“God’s a kid with an ant farm, lady. He’s not planning anything”

Photo: Filippo Fior /

This is like John Constantine on a bad day, scaring away demons with chou pink and a limp mohawk. Its effect on masculinity is tremendous. Dragging it through holly water, back into the pits of hell, where it came from. This is the modern, upgraded version of a battle angel with a pink touch. If you`ll excuse me, I have to burn my eyes now.

John Wick, Chapter Whatever

Photo: Filippo Fior /

We present to you, John Wick, dressed by his dog. We are not sure which one ( for the uninformed, he had two. One of them was shot. Probably for choosing this outfit ). Also, the chicken apron was stolen from a Russian grandma` who irresponsibly left it unsupervised. She was having an argument with the dog over it. 

Seriously now, where are we heading? Anyways, that`s all the cooking fashion chef will be doing today. The mad kitchen is officially closed. Now off you go! Head over to our social media pages and follow us. Not begging, just saying. We`re cool!


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